Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
