this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
