Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
