I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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