Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
