Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
