I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
third nipple confirmed
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
