she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
