I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
