do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
