We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
