that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
