guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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