so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
