she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
