i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
