I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She's the barista slut.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
