i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
