dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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