I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
