he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize