sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
