Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
