i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
