What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize