no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
