he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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