Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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