you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize