I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
