question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
