I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
ttyl tear gas
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
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