ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Michael Bay diarrhea
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
