also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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