They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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