I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
