Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
