He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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