So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
