That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
