totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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