i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just want to make out with him forever
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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