If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
