we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize