ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Can I color on your dick again?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
