Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
