I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
