she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
