you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
