quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Acid is not a monday night drug
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize