Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize