Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
