The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Sober January is a disaster.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize