Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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