oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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