Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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