If that was your dad, he is hot
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
